There’s a lot I want to tell you. A lot I want you to know. A lot that’s being weighing me down. I try sometimes, I swear I do. Severally. On average we can say it’s almost every time I see or talk to you. Each time I try though, the words fail me. A lurking fear befalls me and I all-together abandon the idea of telling you. It’s almost like if I do I will instantly cease to breathe.
“You have a lovely laugh/smile” usually means ‘I love seeing you happy. It’s a beautiful sight and I’d love to be the reason you are always happy’
“You know I care about you right?” translates to ‘I really, really, really care about you much, much more than you know’
“You are one special lady” actually this doesn’t translate to anything. It is as it is. Because you are.
These are some of the things I say or do, each statement with a deeper hidden meaning that I find hard to express.
I won’t lie or deny it. I am a jealous kind of guy. But don’t worry it’s not the crazy kind of jealous, it’s the normal ‘what’s he got that I don’t?’ or ‘I want you to myself’ kind of jealous. Every time I see a guy or a group of them chatting you up and making you laugh your heart out even more than I ever can, I die a little inside. I’d want to run up and tell them not to try anything funny, then I remember you’re a grown lady with your own mind able to make her own decisions and take care of herself. I also remember you know naught of this and that you’re not mine.
I want to run up to you and confess what I feel for you and tell you that you complete my life.
But I haven’t given up yet. Not just yet. I know there’s a lot I have to do to be the man that you need me to be. The man that knows what he wants to be and what he wants to achieve. The Man that can take care of those he cares about and the Man that doesn’t let his fears run his life.
So until then my dear, I bid you adieu.